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Scotland on Sundays hilarious annual cor-titter-fest “Scotland’s 100 Most Eligible” is full of jaw-droppingly weird decisions. Maybe top of these has got to be John Leslie. Eligible? Single? Er, yeah but isn’t there an awfully good reason for this? “Are you looking for nights-out, cinema, walks and occasional sexual assault? GSOH.” But why is this annual publication SO bad? It might have something to do with the judges, including the ravishing Diane Lester (‘ who has a daily programme on Forth 2’) the inspiring Angus Lawrie (a ‘director of marketing and public relations at G1 Group’) or perhaps best of all the suave Glyn Partridge who is the blurb drools “no stranger to Scotland's eligibles in his role as co-owner of the prestigious private members club The Hallion, not to mention being on the list last year. “ What a guy! Glyn apparently is “Fond of Campari and having a "streak of lunatic entrepreneurism which makes him the ideal host", he enjoys people-watching in the Hallion bar. Next year, he plans to cross the East/West divide and open a second Hallion club in Glasgow.” Wow. But wait a minute his idea of a night out sounds a bit creepy: Nothing is sexier than..."champagne on the beach at dawn after a great night out with the girl I love...or one of her friends" Have a laff at Scotland on Sunday here.

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