CELEBRITY WISDOM

Madge has spoken. War is bad. "I just don't want American troops to be in Iraq, period." She fumed eloquently.

"My feelings are 'can we just all get out?"' Well quite.

Next Week: the Cheeky Girls view on the way forward in Chechnya.

Meanwhile, from the Friday Thing: "In the December issue of America's most socially acceptable jazz glossy, Playboy, the inestimably successful Dustin Hoffman holds forth on the perilous plight of humankind and just what can be done to ease our pain and suffering in these difficult times. He is optimistic. He envisions potential. He feels that we could move toward an idyllic existence, that we could create a paradise of peace and harmony, and that we could achieve that goal with ease. All we have to do is be a little more like dogs. It's true that on first hearing, it does sound a bit off the wall. But think about it. Dogs. 'If only we smelled each other's ass,' he reflected, 'there wouldn't be any war.' And there it was. Like a bloody great cluster bomb of simple common sense going off in our collective brainloft..."

More at the Friday Thing