I'M THE ONLY GAY IN THE PARTY

Riddle. “It’s like Christmas, it seems to come quicker each year, it’s pretty grim, but in the end you can just have a laugh about it.”

What is it?

Yes it’s another Tory Party leadership competition!

Did you think that evil-looking guy who brought you the Poll tax and caused the biggest civil disobedience campaign this country’s ever seen was doing really well? Apparently not!
Bambi keeps outflanking him to the right so that if the Tories actually donned jackboots and started goose-stepping around Westminster they’d find Jack Straw and Alan Millburn herding people into ghettoes and invading Denmark.

But the Tories have a new secret weapon. Yes they’re going for a gay leader again? Fantastic. What this country needs is a sort of Pim Fortuyn figure. Tough on crime, into hanging and flogging, but in a camp sort of way.

Superb.

Alan Duncan the ‘dashing’ international development secretary is being put forward as the replacement ‘if’ (and it’s a BIG if! they stress) the Tories fail at the next election.