Mood of Hate
Some people say “You hate the Labour Party, don’t you”. To be quite frank, the answer is no. The Labour Party is funny, but not a source of hatred. It’s the political equivalent of Little and Large. It’s the Labour Govt I hate. And, I really do. Not just a little. I think they are the most detestable bunch of opportunists that we've ever had the misfortune to occupy power. But why the hate? I’ve decided to carry out an experiment and delve into my very soul. Yes I’m going to go all gooey-eyed and Blairite on you and examine my inner demons. First let's look at the record. Where better to start than the Labour Party itself? Go to here and type your post code into there handy What Labour’s Done for You? Machine. I tried it. A quick check of my postcode G12 2PN into the machine, wait a second…”Nothing Found.” A quick error my part, being sadly misdirected to New Labour and I got confused, is that rank hypocrisy why I hate them? Could it be the feint whiff of cluster bombs from the despatch box that makes me noxious. No. The bombs of 7 July were Blair's bombs but that’s not the problem. Instead I turned closer to home to the slightly amateurish Scottish Labour site for some answers. I paused. Slightly stunned. Their banner of pink beaming gormless volunteers can’t be for real can it? Is it really to be here that I’ll find the answer to why I shouldn’t hate these guys? But they’re so mediocre. Okay, here it is: What Labour Has Done for Me: Here we go. There’s a list of % top achievements, okay maybe not that much for almost a decade in power but what are they? 1. Er, free personal care for the elderly. Well okay pretty good, I’ll give you that, (but what was the option, did you want to fleece my granny too?) 2. Seizing assets of drugs dealers. Okay, fine. 3. Increased investment in public services. What more than the Tories? Sheesh. Great. Anybody been in a school recently? 4. Free off peak travel. Well okay so old folks get a deal in the afternoon when the buses are quiet. Good stuff i suppose, but this is seriously your fourth best achievement? 5. Improved student support. Scottish labour has stopped Scottish students getting ripped off as bad as their counterparts down south. Geeze, that it? Christ on a bike I can feel the bile rising as I click on page after page of half-baked policies re-packaged as some big deal. I’m searching desperately for some kind of environmental boast. None. Not a freaking sand-eel.