Mobility

Can't manage to raise my head off the desk to tap out some loosely-researched bile against the Tory party leadership contest, though a mild snigger was detected after they decided to elect another mad zealot from the nether regions of the party offices that nobody has ever heard of. Apparently now some coke-snorting Etonian who tickled the Blue Rinse brigade in the Winter Gardens has ejected the fat guy who likes jazz and guinness.

So just to recap they've now gone: Hague (wee fat bald guy who could could drink 14 pints and WASN'T gay); to IDS - the 'Quiet Man' (a guy who sounded like a venereal disease, and proved about as popular); to Michael Howard, a man so clearly possessed by a physically evil that even Doris Karloff (a woman who had pregnant prisoners shackled to their beds when giving birth) thought had "something of the night about him".

It's quite a rostrum.

For some reason the Tory election seems to have the press squealing with excitement. Still trying to shake myself out of the catatonic state its inducing, I seem to be getting more and more stupified by the undescribable banality of the media, the empty background drone of meaningless drivel is doing my head in. I'll try and be more postitive ('Cmon Foxy!').

So instead of even mentioning the Tory party leadership contest let's talk about mobile phones, with this from the Friday Thing ( I know it's only Wednesday but Friday can't come quick enough):

"Adverjism - The Future is Shite: "If you've got a mobile phone to flog, you must after a few years of intense post-modern peddling be approaching some psychotic state of desperation, staring into an abyss of idealessness. Everyone living has a mobile - most people couldn't give a toss what it does as long as it makes calls, is small enough so as to keep its owner socially acceptable and large enough to be seen by the naked eye. Some people even keep the same mobile for more than six months, the capricious bastards. How to reel them in like the dead-eyed rotting fish-in-a-barrel they are? Make like 3, find a new universe in your own arse, and vanish therein to the bemusement of all who watch..."