Why philosophy?

I am Bobby Beamer and therefore I am... Bobby Beamer. It doesn't get more obvious, really, that I am a deep thinker. I once thought about the theory of buttered toast for three days while travelling across the Mojave Desert in the back of Eddie "The Soap" Webb's transit van. I found that some of my theories have matched anything suggested by minds such as Hawkins, Newton, Aristotle and Wogan. I hope to expand the mind...